Chapter 20: Serving in God's Strength

1.  How do you encourage your children to reach out in service to others?

2.  What things do you do as a family to live in the presence of God on a daily basis?

3.  Reflect on an experience where you were limited in trying to do God's will your way.  How did things change when you gave God control?

4.  When has your motherhood been an act of trust?

Action point-
Read Luke 15:1-7 [Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him.  And the Pharisees and the scribes murmured, saying, "This man receives sinners and eats with them."  So he told them this parable: "What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost, until he finds it?  And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing.  And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, `Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost.'  Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.]  In this passage, what was the attitude of the Pharisee and the scribe about "sinners"?  What does Jesus' story indicate about how God feels about "sinners" or "lost sheep"?  Make a list of people that your family can pray for and seek to reach out to.  Choose one and pray together regularly for this person.

Chapter 19: Serving with Hardworking Hands

1.  How do you reconcile your vocational ideals with reality?

2.  Which "mundane realities" pose a stumbling block for you?  How do you overcome them?

3.  When have you been pushed past your perceived capabilities?  What did you gain from the experience?

4.  How does your family serve others?

Action Point-
Try to think of some people you meet everyday-in your church, your neighborhood, etc.-who could use some love and care.  Come up with a plan to minister to those people's needs together.  (Your children's ideas may surprise and challenge you!)

Chapter 18: Serving with a Willing Heart

1.  What gifts do you see in your children?  How do you nurture them?

2.  How can we help our children develop empathy and compassion?

3.  When do you insist your children serve?

4.  Reflect on how the sin in your life makes you resist responsibility.

Action Point-
In Luke 10: 30-37, Jesus tells the parable of the good Samaritan [Jesus replied, "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him, and departed, leaving him half dead.  Now by chance a priest was going down that road; and when he saw him he passed by on the other side.  So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.  But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was; and when he saw him, he had compassion, and went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; then he set him on his own beast and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.  And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, `Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.'  Which of these three, do you think, proved neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?"  He said, "The one who showed mercy on him." And Jesus said to him, "Go and do likewise."]  Read this story to your children.  Ask them why this Samaritan, who was not a religious Jew,  was considered to be the one who did God's will.  What does this teach us about how God wants us to act in our daily lives?

Chapter 17: Compassionate Harvest-a Model for Service

1.  In what ways do we live out the redemptive kindness of God in service to the needy and downtrodden in society?  In our family?

2.  How can we help our children look at other people through Jesus' eyes and respond as He did?

3.  Share an example of an interruption that turned out to be a ministry opportunity.

4.  Jesus never asks us to do what he has not already been willing to do.  John 15:13 [Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.] states the Lord's definition of the greatest love a person could give.  How did he show this kind of love for us?  If you strive to follow his example, how would it change the way you parent your children?

Action Point-
Name three ways in which you have laid down your own life (goals, time or expectations) for your children.  In what specific areas do your children need to learn how to lay down their own lives and expectations so they can become mature and ready to serve God?

Chapter 16: Training Children for Tribulation

1.  Whose lives have you chosen to be involved with for the sake of Christ?

2.  How does our Catholic recognition of the efficacy of suffering on earth (offering it up) in light of eternity help put struggles into perspective (CCC 2015-2016)?

3.  When has your own trust in God been tested?  What helped you to cling to Him?

4.  Think of some times when you've had the urge to step into a situation that was difficult for your children and "fix" it for them.  What happened?  What are some ways you can train your children to cope with trouble in a godly, mature manner?

Action point-Pray and meditate upon Bl. Mother Teresa's version of the Paradoxical Commandments:

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.

Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

Chapter 15: Training Children to Pray Effectively

1.  How do you teach your children to pray?

2.  What are some of your favorite family prayers/spiritual activities?

3.  How/when do you incorporate prayer into your daily routine?

4.  Share an example of prayer changing your perspective on a situation.

Action Point-
As training in prayer, study the Lord's prayer with your children.  Go through every line and discuss what it means.  Help them memorize it.  Then say the prayer together every morning or every night before you go to bed.  (See Catechism of the Catholic Church 2759-2865, click the purple next arrow to continue the text)

Chapter 14: Training Children to Think

1.  What practical means do you use to help keep your children innocent and pure?

2.  How do you prepare them for/walk them through difficulties?

3.  What role do guardian angels play in the spiritual life of your family?

4.  Hebrews 12:11 basically admits that discipline is not fun; in the short term, it brings sorrow instead of joy.  But what does it say is the long term result of this process of discipline [For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.]?  Can you think of issues with your children where you tend to back off from discipline because the process is so uncomfortable?  List two ways in which you will strengthen your approach to loving discipline this month.  Ask for God's help and perhaps enlist the help of a friend to keep you accountable for this.

Action Point-Read from the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 6:25-34 ["Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life?  And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O men of little faith?  Therefore do not be anxious, saying, `What shall we eat?' or `What shall we drink?' or `What shall we wear?'  For the Gentiles seek all these things; and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well.  "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day.]  Entrust your worries and those of your children to the Lord.

Chapter 13: Persistent Miracles-a Model for Training

1.  What people, books or other sources have been valuable to your own training?

2.  Which methods of training your children have you found to be effective?

3.  What helps you to persevere in your vocation as mother, especially when your efforts seem futile?

4.  Write down what you think should be the primary goal of our instruction and training.  Then read 1 Tim 1:5 [whereas the aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and sincere faith.]  What does this verse say about the goal of our instruction?  How does your stated goal compare with the one that Paul expressed to Timothy?  What changes, if any, do you need to make to your goals and daily responses in the light of this comparison?

Action Point-The book of Proverbs was written to teach young people how to be wise and how to have godly character.  Determine to read from the first four chapters of Proverbs each day for one month to your children.  Ask them to make a list of the wise principles they hear as you go along.  Memorize one verse together each week and say it aloud daily. 

Chapter 12: Faith in the Spirit's Power

1.  How do you sanctify the "mundane moments" of life?

2.  What techniques do you use to avoid getting angry and frustrated every time you feel you can justify it?

3.  Share an example of a time when you made a conscious effort to yield your emotions/actions to the Holy Spirit.

4.  How does recognizing the limitations of your responsibility in the care of your children force you to rely on God?  What practical means help you?

Action Point-According to Ephesians 2:8 [For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God], what does God say is the source of our salvation?  What does faith have to do with this?  Do your children realize that grace is a free gift with no strings attached?  (See CCC 1987-2029 Grace and Justification) Plan out how you can communicate this principle to them.

Chapter 11: Faith in God's Living Word

1.  Share a situation in which God's Word truly spoke to you.

2.  What role do the Scriptures play in your daily life?  In your family?

3.  What is your favorite Bible story/verse?

4.  How do you share God's Word with your children?

5.  As Catholics we read Scripture within "the living Tradition of the whole Church" (CCC 113).  How does that change our experience?

Action Point-Make a list of five things you could do to incorporate God's Word more effectively into your everyday family life.  Pick one item from the list and commit to applying it faithfully for six weeks.

Chapter 10: Faith in a Living God

1.  Do you have a tenacious trust in God?

2.  Hebrews 11:6 tells us that without faith it is impossible to please God.  What circumstances has God recently allowed in your own life that call for faith?  In what ways are you modeling faith before the eyes of your children so that they are learning how to have faith in God?

3.  How do you help your child(ren) trust God in the face of obstacles/difficulties?

4.  Which saints does your family have a devotion to?

Action Point-Think of a time in the past when you have had to walk by faith but now look back to see what God has done.  Tell your children about this experience in the form of a bedtime story.  (If you can't think of a time in your own life, look for a children's book about faithful people.  Or tell them the stories of Abraham and Sarah or Joseph in Egypt.)

Chapter 9: Enough for a Lifetime-A Model for Faith

1.  Read Psalm 119:105 [Thy word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.]  According to this verse, what will give our children a proper foundation and guidance on their path of life?  In what ways does this apply to our calling as ministers to our children?

2.  What role does scripture play in your spirituality?

3.  How do you read the Bible?

4.  What is your vision of Heaven?

5.  How do you strive to give your child(ren) an eternal perspective?

Action Point:
Read selections from John's gospel or the book of Revelation this week.

Chapter 8: Inspiring a New Kind of Love

1.  What are some of the needs of the people that you interact with throughout your week?

2.  How can we better see people through the lens of their need and love them as Jesus does?

3.  What do you do to encourage empathy and compassion in your child(ren)?

4.  Do you put out your 'spiritual antennas' and look for people in need?

5.  Reflect on a time in which Christ's love compelled you to action.

6.  Read Mt 9:36 [When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.]  Can you think of some fears or prejudices in your life or your particular culture that might keep you or your children from seeing people as Jesus did?  (What kinds of people do you tend to shy away from or find it hard to care about?)  What might help you overcome these attitudes?
Action Point-Take a concrete step to stretch yourself in love.

Chapter 7: Inspiring a Sense of God's Powerful Presence

1.  Describe your most recent "Come, look!" moment.

2.  What role does nature play in your spirituality?

3.  Do you trust God?

4.  How do you strive to give your child the gift of wonder?

5.  How can we help our child(ren) become more aware of God's presence in each moment?

Action point-Read Mt 6:25-30 [ "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink, nor about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life?  And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O men of little faith?] and Psalm 19:1 [The heavens are telling the glory of God;
and the firmament proclaims his handiwork].  Then think of a time and place where you really felt the power and magnificence of God as displayed in the works of his creation.  In the coming few weeks, be on the alert for opportunities to look, observe, ponder--and point out God's wonders to your children.  Set a goal of saying, "Come, look!" at least once a day.

Chapter 6: Inspiring a Sense of Purpose

1.  What things or involvements has God called you to abandon as you follow Him more closely?

2.  How has your relationship with Christ shaped "what you want to be when you grow-up"?  How can we help our child(ren) redefine success with God's understanding rather than the world's?

3.  What have you done to make Christ known to the people in your life?

4  In what way does the knowledge that your child(ren) are ultimately God's make it easier/more difficult to raise them?

5.  Read Matthew 6:33 [But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well].  This passage is clear about what our priorities should be, but priorities can easily become skewed in the course of daily life.  Consider the way you send your time and your money.  What does this say to your children about what is most important to you, and is this the message you want to send?  In light of this verse, should a mother's children be her first priority?

Action point-Make concrete resolution that will help you to seek God's kingdom throughout your day.

Chapter 5: On the Mountain-A Model for Inspiration

1.  Have you read Chapter IV: The Laity in Lumen Gentium, the Dogmatic Constitution on the Church?  How are we called to glorify God and share in His creative nature?

2.  Where is your favorite place to encounter Christ?

3.  What visual remembrances of your relationship with the Lord do you cherish?

4.  How are you preparing your child(ren) to go into the world and make disciples for the Lord?

5.  Do you reflect upon the spiritual significance of your role as wife and mother?  How do you emphasize this facet in light of the "details of our lives" that threaten to overwhelm?

Action point-For each child in your household, write out a list of characteristics (personality traits, skills, interests, etc.) that you believe God can use for his purposes.  Referring to the list you just made, write a letter to each child expressing what you see in him or her and affirming that God has a special place for that child in his kingdom purposes.  Whether you share the letter with your child now or save it for a future time depends on your circumstances.  Don't forget to commit this list to the Lord in prayer and specifically ask him for help in inspiring that child to use his or her gifts to help bring about God's kingdom.

Chapter 4: The Grace of Forgiveness in Action

1.  Share a teachable moment you have had with your child(ren) regarding sin.

2.  What role does/should guilt play in our parenting?

3.  The last night Jesus had with his disciples, he called them "little children" (John 13:33).  Does this tell you anything about his attitude toward these grown men who were his most devoted followers?  Read John 14:1 [Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me.] and see what his continued response was to Peter after he had confronted him with the fact that he would deny Christ.  How does this show the loving grace that Jesus extended to his disciples?  How does he want you to extend it to your children?

4.  The Bible makes it clear that we are to discipline and correct our children when they do wrong.  How do you do this faithfully while still giving them the gift of grace?

5.  What discipline techniques do you find most effective?

Action Point-Make forgiveness an explicit part of your corrective interactions this week.

Chapter 3: The Grace of Encouraging Words

1.  Do you deliberately use "words of life" (encouraging and affirming words) with your child(ren)?  with yourself?  with those outside your home?

2.  The Boys Town Model of Parenting suggests that we strive for a 5:1 ratio of positive/corrective interactions with our child(ren).  Where do you fall most days?  Do you see trends (times, situations, physical stresses) that increase the negative interactions?  Can you take steps to change these circumstances and/or readjust your expectations?

3.  How can we give words of instruction and training without nagging, criticism or reprimands?

4.  Read Romans 2:4 [Or do you presume upon the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience? Do you not know that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?]  According to this verse, what leads us to repent?  How specifically does God what you to extend his grace to your children so that his kindness, through you, will lead them to repentance?

Action Point-Take time this week to express your appreciation to those around you and to God.

Chapter 2: The Grace of Time Together

1.  How/when do you make time to be a loving presence for your child(ren)?

2.  How do you and your child(ren) interact differently when you use a servant-leadership style of parenting versus commands/threats/guilt/manipulation?

3.  How do you discipline with love in your home?

4.  Write down what tends to irritate you about each of your children and sometimes keeps you from showing God's gracious love.  Pray for each child he has given you and make a plan for how you will respond more graciously to him or her, especially in those irritating situations.

Chapter 1: Out of the Boat-A Model

Part 1 Preface: The Gift of Grace and Chapter 1: Out of the Boat-A Model for Grace (pages 21-29)

Blue text question taken from the text's "For Study and Discussion"

Biblical quotations from Revised Standard Version Bible

1.  How can you help yourself and your child(ren) from falling into Satan's trap of negative thinking as Peter did at the beginning of the chapter?  Do you see a correlation between negativity and the inability to recognize Christ's presence?  How do you refocus that relationship?

2.  Read Mark 14:66-72

[66] And as Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the maids of the high priest came; [67] and seeing Peter warming himself, she looked at him, and said, "You also were with the Nazarene, Jesus." [68] But he denied it, saying, "I neither know nor understand what you mean." And he went out into the gateway. [69] And the maid saw him, and began again to say to the bystanders, "This man is one of them." [70] But again he denied it. And after a little while again the bystanders said to Peter, "Certainly you are one of them; for you are a Galilean." [71] But he began to invoke a curse on himself and to swear, "I do not know this man of whom you speak." [72] And immediately the cock crowed a second time. And Peter remembered how Jesus had said to him, "Before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times." And he broke down and wept.

and then 1 Peter 4:8 [Above all hold unfailing your love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins]. 

Knowing that Christ gave Peter grace after he failed so miserably, how would he have you extend this kind of grace to your own child(ren)?  What would this look like in your daily interactions?

3.  How do you help your child(ren) receive grace?  give grace?

4.  What concrete step can you take this week to highlight grace in your home?